LOST?

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I realised today that I have lost my belief in myself.

 

When it comes to other people, in particular their writing, I have a gift of encouraging them to try, to keep going, to succeed. Three people have now gone on to write more than one fiction book because of my support and gentle encouragement.  In that same time, I have only written part of my first fiction, and it has laid untouched for over a year.

 

I feel lost.  I need someone to do for me what I do for others. To guide me, support me, challenge me, encourage me… to be a ‘team’ with me. I can’t motivate myself… I’m just not that kind of person.

 

I can’t ‘sell’ myself as one of my writer friends can. She takes on new courses or challenges so often and it leads her to results. She is inspiring! She has this amazing belief in herself.  I don’t have that same belief in myself. She goes out there boldly and finds a way to open up opportunities for herself and others.  I’m not brave like that. She has been the reason for most of what I’ve done to edit and publish stories for others and books for some. Now she is moving away after 7 years. 

 

When I was at school, many years ago, I was explosively creative. Writing plays, a movie script, filming part of the script. I wanted to be a TV Director and Producer, so I applied for NIDA… once. Instead of applying again until I was accepted, I got a boring job in a Bank and that was the end of it. 

 

I had no-one there to encourage me to try again. Just that one person who believed in me and in my dreams was all I needed to keep me going, but they were not there. I still need that now, more than ever.

 

I would say the most creative I have been recently was the five years I edited the Sonic Screwdriver Magazine for the Doctor Who Club of Victoria. What I achieved then was amazing, but it only happened because I had another person working with me as a partner. Just as there would never have been any ABBA songs if Benny and Bjorn had not been led to work together, the same is true for what we did with that magazine. That’s how I work best, as part of a team of two, sometimes more.

 

Maybe it’s just me struggling to see ‘the wood for the trees’ as they say.  Maybe my eyes have slipped below the waterline and I’m struggling to get my head back above water.  Maybe it all seems and feels far worse than it really is…

 

But one thing is clear; I need someone to believe in me now. Someone to believe in my gifts, show enthusiasm for what I write and create, to gently support and encourage me to succeed. 

 

I do it for others. Is it too much to ask that someone does the same for me?

 

Michael Young 2019

Shurri

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Shurri

I always thought SHIRLEY MacLAINE was a nutter. (I’m sure that’s what “they” wanted me to think!)

Now I realise that she is just a few steps ahead of me on the same spiritual journey as millions of others.

I’ve just started reading her 2011 book “I’m Over All That”.

 

This book has sat on the shelf in my bedroom for a long time.  The shelf where I have a collection of books for “future reading”.  In fact, it’s been there for so long I have no idea where it came from or when it was purchased… or how it got there at all. Late last week I was walking past the shelf, and “saw” the book for the first time… like it had not been there until that moment when it suddenly caught my attention.

I love how the universe provides me with an endless supply of “the right book at the right time” to help me along my spiritual/life journey.  The book I was previously reading was one that had to be digested in slow portions because it was way beyond average daily reading… “Catastrophobia” by Barbara Hand Clow, which I now realise is a book that Shirley would definitely have read herself.  (That magical “one degree of separation” appears again in my life.)

My initial thought at seeing “I’m Over All That” was, ‘that sounds like me talking, I’m over it all too,’ followed by ‘this will at least be something light to contrast with the heaviness Catastrophobia.’ As I started to read, I realised it was actually necessary for me to have read the two previous books so I could appreciate all the wisdom that was waiting for me in this new book.

The timing was simply beyond what I would expect for my life, but as always, it was perfect.  I’d been struggling with a cold/cough/sinus infection for over six weeks. I caught it at the Cher concert we recently attended, probably because I’ve worked from home for over a year my immunity to minor bugs has lowered, so it was easy to pick up something form all those “germy people breathing all over me” in the crowded venue.  I was getting depressed from the long illness and didn’t understand why it was hanging around when all my blood etc tests showed me to be healthier than any average person. 

I read a comment in Shirley’s book that suggested illness is often a sign that we need to change something in our life. Long story short that led me to ask my “people” (guides, angels whatever you prefer) who gave me an immediate answer, which I then started to question, so I consulted my Angel Cards which, in only ONE selection pounded home the same point… that I had to re-balance a certain distracting obsession in my life immediately.  So I made the agreement with them and, with the help of my doctor, I began to see an immediate release from the illness. 

No, I won’t tell you the specifics, but suffice to say it was one of those very “human” situations where you know the obsession or addiction to some distraction is taking over your life, but you just keep ignoring all the signs… until the universe has to back you into a corner and MAKE you see what you are pretending to ignore.  This time I was backed into the corner and handed a book written by Shirley MacLaine published seven years ago to slap me back to reality… and get me writing again as well!

There’s so much in “I’m Over All That” that resonates with me, it’s like I’m becoming more and more like Shirley without even knowing her… or put more simply, we are on the same spiritual journey through a very similar list of life lessons. (By the way, if you want to know why I’ve called this post “Shurri” you’ll have to read the book 😉  )

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Here’s just one of those passages:

I’m Over Fear Taught In The Name Of Religion. (Page 28).

I never cease to be amazed at how far some religious people will go to turn their destinies over to god rather than take charge of them for themselves. If the devil really does exist, he would beat his chest with pride at how significant we humans have made him. More movies and books have been made heralding his existence than anything else… because the FEAR of him makes so much MONEY. Fear seems to be the most common human emotion and the easiest to exploit. Fear of god, fear of the devil, fear of terrorists, fear of death, fear of life, fear of race, (fear of authority), fear, fear, fear. Learn how to propagandise FEAR, and you can control a civilisation and make a LOT of MONEY…

 In fact, everywhere I have traveled in the world, the conflicts I’ve seen stemmed from organised religion in one way or another…  

 What I was learning about religion around the world as I traveled was that it afforded each denomination and culture an opportunity to BYPASS RESPONSIBILITY for itself and assign that task to god. (Also creating their devil in the image of their longtime cultural enemy or their “imagined” enemy, also declaring them an enemy of their god to justify their godless hatred and war.)…

Therefore, I gave up religion a long time ago. I’m over all that religion thing and have been ever since I put my experiences with my own karma together with my strong sense of SELF-RESPONSIBILITY…

Shirley MacLaine 2011.  

(Emphasis is mine… Michael Young)

Problem One

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Problems? Don’t talk to me about problems…
My mobile just fell down the side on my electric reclining lounge, my dairy-free ice cream is melting all over my home cooked Peach/Apple/Cranberry pie, I have to get up again because I forgot to put the USB into my laptop so I can watch the latest episode of The Young And The Restless on my 64″ HD 3D TV… AND… it’s getting to warm in here so I’ll have to turn the heating down!
Meanwhile, tonight on the streets of Wyndham (western suburbs of Melbourne, Australia) there are people, even families sleeping in their car or on the street, or god knows where while the wind chill factor turns the temperature to -7 degrees! But, hey, we don’t have a “homelessness problem” here, of course not! (…if we keep denying it, it will go away…)
Yes, FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS indeed!

COMMENTS:

AMY:
The Salvo’s are doing a great job assisting homeless in Wyndham.
But they cannot do it all. We must recognise our homeless and all pitch in together.

LISA:
White lion also doing great work with homeless youth but again can only do so much.
We have a huge lack of resources here as in crisis accommodation, mental health services rehab facilities for drug and alcohol (major contributors to homelessness).
Unfortunately posting on facebook although it brings awareness people very rarely take further steps.
Make donations of time and or money to organizations that can assist these people.
Write federal and state MP’s calling for more to be done.

WOLF:
You can join me knitting sleeping mats, blankets etc.

FALSE BLOOD

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False Blood

FALSE BLOOD

I believe it is impossible for humans to tell the absolute truth… it’s in our blood.

We are genetically incapable of telling the TRUTH without compromise or exaggeration.

That simple truth is also why we are so driven to seek out “truth”, yet so willing to allow the “little white lies” to be told and accepted.

Them:  “Place one hand on the Bible, raise your other hand.  Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”

Us:  “I do.”

… BULLSHIT!

The absolute truth is exceptionally powerful and dangerous.

Tell it, accept it, then move on…

Please, Mr Postman

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Please, Mr Postman

This morning I stumbled across an email notifying that a package would be delivered for my partner today.  It included the option to select “safe delivery” so I responded that it could be left at the front door.  I was then out of the house for the rest of the morning, thinking it would be delivered regardless of me being there to sign for it.

When I get home after midday I see a card in the letter box saying the parcel can be collected from the local Post Shop after 4pm today.  Damn!  I had just been at that very shop half an hour before, how annoying to have to go back there tomorrow when I already said to leave it at the door.  (It was actually small enough to go in the letter box anyway).

I walked back into the garage and was about to close the door when I see the postman come around the corner and stop to deliver something to the house across the road.  So, with the collection card in hand, I crossed the street and asked if he had the item with him.  (Sometimes they are delivered by a separate van service).  He did, now I have it and I don’t have to make a special trip to the Post Shop tomorrow.  (No, I didn’t complain about the disregarded delivery instructions!)

Yes, PERFECT timing … the magic of SYNCHRONICITY strikes again… I must be still on the right path for my life and making the right choices!  🙂  

 

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