It’s great to have Christmas Specials back again; the New Year Special idea never really worked for me. Also a little sad that it wasn’t free on ABC iView anymore.

As the first full Ncuti Gatwa/15^th Doctor episode, it focussed on establishing his version of the Doctor and introducing the new companion, Ruby Sunday, along with her adoptive family and nosey (or is it knowledgeable) neighbour, Mrs Flood. Some of this episode skated dangerously close to turning the Doctor into some kind of Marvel Superhero and the new Sonic Screwdriver was more Star Trek Tricorder than a logical adaptation of a Sonic Screwdriver.

Early on, we find the Doctor dancing in a nightclub, in a scene that looked straight out of RTDs big gay hit series from 1999, Queer As Folk. No question that this is the sexiest Doctor ever! He can sing and dance as well as save the Universes, but I desperately hope that we won’t be assaulted with song-and-dance numbers in EVERY new episode!

Ruby’s mother, who left her on the steps of the Church on Ruby Road at Christmas, appears to be someone of future significance, as does Mrs Flood and her strange familiarity with TARDISes. However, on another viewing of the episode, Flood could easily have Googled “Disappearing Blue Police Box” in her reality and found out all the info she now knows. We fans have a tendency to imagine and expect much more than is currently being delivered; the once so-mysterious Anniversary Second Special is a perfect example of us being led to believe for great and amazing things and ending up with none of what we hoped for.

Cherry was just fabulous, and she knows how to fight hard for a good cup of tea. Davina McCall was also a great and fitting addition to the story. I find Ncuti’s performance very moving at times, giving it a tangible emotional sincerity.

The big problem, for me, was the Goblin Song. Not in any universe is it acceptable to have evil Goblins singing about stealing and eating babies, definitely not in the Whoniverse, and adding insult to injury by making it a Charity Single for BBCs Children In Need! There is nothing funny or charming about any of it, including the painfully weak lyrics, and I found it just sick, offensive, and vile.    

Overall, this episode served other purposes, but it was so not Christmassy for me – a long way from most of the old Christmas Specials. A bit of tinsel, a few stars, and a Christmas tree do not automatically create a Christmas feeling! Overall, the whole thing felt too complicated and dark. Will I buy it on Blu-ray or DVD? No. Will I watch it again? NO… because of all the stuff that offended me. Has RTD lost his old Magic? Ask me after the first three episodes of the new season.

I keep watching these new BBC/Disney+/Wolf created episodes and wanting desperately to like them, but… Minus 1 for the un-Christmassy-ness of it. Minus 2 for the “Goblins eating babies and singing about it for charity” insanity. That leaves 1 for Ncuti’s great performance, and 1 for the amazing CGI and all that stuff.

2 out of 5 Jelly Babies from me.